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Feb. 17th, 2010

Fight

Tear stained pillow cases
Please don't cry yourself to sleep
I'll try and make it better
Try to help you smile again

Easy girl, it'll be okay
Breathe girl, we all feel this way
Promises get broken but to you I swear
It'll get better, to you I swear

Loneliness engulfs your soul
Saddness steals your heart
Frustration overtakes your mind
Threatening to rip you apart
I know your future's bright
Brighter than this hell you're in

Hold on a little longer
Don't give up, don't give in
Fight with all you have
You'll come out atop it all
You'll come out alive

Burn

Fine, I'm the rebound
Alright, you don't care
I get it, I'm nothing

Be careful who you play with
Emotions are quick to form
But oh so hard to break
Don't fuck with this girl
She knows how to play

I'll act like you never meant a thing
Maybe you never did in the first place
Don't let 'em see you cry
Don't let 'em see you sweat

If you want it
You know where to find it
Don't assume it's coming the second you snap
This time you'll burn
I'll be the water
But I'm also the flame

Feb. 6th, 2010

Redo

I should've never let you stay
I thought I would be stronger than that
Thought I was better than that
We can't erase the past
But a redo would be great

And I just want to let you know
I hate myself for feeling the way I do about you
I knew it could't happen
I knew it wouldn't last
But knowledge isn't power when the hearts at play

Leaving solves your problem
Going home to finally be happy
That's all I want for you
Maybe leaving is for the best
But that doesn't mean it hurts any less

Jan. 20th, 2010

Noah and Allie

Fairytales are meant for children
Maybe they shouldn't exist
Feeding false hopes about love and life
Too soon reality swoops in and crushes dreams

There's no such thing as prince charming
He's a fable, never meant to come
Kiss your frogs and befriend the beasts
Snow White won't wake when reality's her tomb

Hollywood sees hopes and plays them in pictures
Modern day fairytales building fantasy worlds
Love can't be found in a stranger or friend
Life isn't a movie ending when the credits role

Children innocent and pure
Brainwashed by Cinderella and Ariel
Adults ignorant and unsure
Wishing for love like Noah and Allie

Dec. 25th, 2009

Just trust your heart around me...i just want to be where you are tonight

I got it bad......for a kid I've never met in person. God I hate myself.

At first I was iffy towards him because well I thought he was just gunna be another guy who didn't want anything to do with me but relieve some sexual frustration. And I thought rightfully so because for a while thats all he really ever talked about.

Then the other day we had an actual conversation and it was nice. My iffy feelings are not secret from him because I have voiced them but he says he's different in person...after the other night I definetly believe it more than I did.

Thing is...I think he's losing interest in me. Or I'm just buggin....I really hope i'm just buggin.


Here's the thing, he once said ily to me. to which I replied I like you too. After telling me that's not what he meant I replied with how can you *insert 'l'word that isn't like* when you've never met them. Now I don't believe him lol. I think maybe he just thinks it but it's not really true because really how is that even possible.

Now I know I read into things waaay to much but there are just somethings that you don't say to people you don't have much interest in. I don't even know how to deal with how I'm feeling. Everytime I get a text I hope it's him. When it's not I don't even really want to read the text I got. When it is him I smile so wide my face feels like it's going to split in half. If I go without talking to him for a day I'm upset.

I hate that I get attached to people rather quickly if they're nice to me and tell me I'm beautiful. I blame my parents for my guy issues and the fact that secretly I need their approval. I'll never be the girl whose dating someone because she's afraid to be single because quite frankly how afraid can I be after 18 years of singleness. I'm terrified I'm going to end up like my mom, married to someone who doesn't make me happy and slightly insane because of it.

.....I can't help liking him alot though....

....Fuck my life in the asshole :(...

Dec. 11th, 2009

You'll be the one to bend I'll be the one to break


OMG I'm super nervous haha.

Sep. 30th, 2009

Stayed Away


 So maybe I'm selfish
But that's all I've got
Fear is controlling it now
To you it's a stupid thought
To me it's logic

            
       In the end it's better this way
Don't worry you'll thank me one day
In the end it'll all be okay
When this is over you'll be glad I stayed away
            
     You're not the first this has happened to
For her I didn't hold tight to my belief
I caved and I saw her
I saw her and she died the next day
To you it's a stupid thought
To me it's logic

           
You're dying they say
But I can't do it
Go see him they say
But I won't do it
You're selfish they  say
But I can't do it

Sep. 27th, 2009

Think of me when you're out, when you're out there. I'll beg you nice from my knees

....Why, just why do I let myself get like this? Why do I let people do this to me? Why can't they just.....I don't even know :(

Sep. 17th, 2009

Note To Self: Self Pity Isn't Pretty


       Afraid of the world

Hiding in the shadows

Watching life fly by

You know the truth and the truth scares you

Lose yourself before they do

    
You’ll fail, yeah you’ll fail

Lose it all, you’ll lose it all

Can’t get ahead when you’re 10 steps behind

Friends and family will disappear

Lose them all before they lose you

     
No one stays long enough to show

Disappoint them like you always do

They’ll find out soon enough

You’ll plague then more then they’ll know

    
You’ll fail, yeah you’ll fail

Lose it all, you’ll lose it all

Can’t get ahead when you’re 10 steps behind

Friends and family will disappear

Lose them all before they lose you

      
Stay mediocre and alone

Excel to the nothing you’ve become

Without passion there’s no need

Without love there’s no pain

    
You’ll fail, yeah you’ll fail

Lose it all, you’ll lose it all

Can’t get ahead when you’re 10 steps behind

Friends and family will disappear

Lose them all before they lose you

Sep. 15th, 2009

Clay For Your Molding


      So all this time it was a joke

Maybe then it was true but now I feel like the fool

The lesser, the one who gives

The annoyance, the one who never gets

   
  Am I just that?

The doormat to be walked on

When did I become the Igor to your brilliant mind?

Push, you’ll push, push until I break.

     Never really cared about anything but you


Used everyone to get by

Anger is your only aid in deceiving me

Deceiving me into thinking you really care

    
Am I just that?

The doormat to be walked on

When did I become the clay for your molding?

Pull, you’ll pull, pull until I break.

     

Bruised and bloodied, cracked and peeling

My eyes are clear and my heart is breaking

Push, pull, deceive, control

Be careful your grip is slipping

   
Am I just that?

The doormat to be walked on

When did I become the clay for your molding?

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